BadMan's Blog

The local media is having a big time with the upcoming "No refusal" weekend.  They make it sound like if you are stopped by the police for suspected drunk driving they will hold you down and someone from the "Batmobile" will bite you on the neck and get a sample of your blood for examination in the laboratory......Igor will help.

That ain't the way it be...

We should have some people in the news business instead of the infotainment business..

Where's my wooden stake?

The telephone as we knew it as a form of communication is dead.

I have been trying to make some calls relating to a financial matter.  I dial.  The first thing is the robot answering machine picks up on the fifth ring. Then I get to select the language I wish to communicate in. Next I am read a list of options with the button to push for each option. None of the options exactly fit the subject I want to address. I get to press "0" to hear the options again.

I select one at random and get another set of options none of which include a live person at the other end.  After I get to the end of the button pushing chain I finally get "This call may be monitored for quality".. Then Sabu the elephant boy in Bombay India comes on.  He has a sheet of paper in front of him with answers to the most popular questions. If you have a question not on the list you are SOL..

Then I see all the cell phone advertising with "Text"..Wasn't the whole idea behind the telephone to let you TALK to someone?

I will find a way.

Eventually

"Overture, curtain, lights! This is it. The night of nights.

No more rehearsing or nursing a part.

We know every part by heart!

Overture, curtain, lights! This is it. We'll hit the heights!

And oh, what heights we'll hit! On with the show, this is it!

Tonight what heights we'll hit! On with the show, this is it!"

Bevo, the 14th in a long line of destinguished University of Texas mascots is really impressive.

Have you ever wondered about the first UT mascot?

It was a pit bulldog named "Pig". 

The two finger "Hook 'em" wasn't used. You raised one leg and hollered "P on U".

I thought I had seen everything until today. I was watching a base-uh-ball game 'cause there was nothing else on..

I thought Coco Crisp had the patent on odd names until we come up with Kosuke Fukudome...

I can't make a crack about the name as my name in Japanese means "Esteemed warrior who should rule the world".

Just when you thought television "entertainment" could not sink any lower up pops "HOLE IN THE WALL"

The people working on the program better keep their day jobs as they will disappear faster than "My name is Earl"..

This program appears to be a rip-off of Japanese TV only the Japanese would have used a pit of boiling oil or something instead of the nice clear pool of water with two cameramen in it.

The trailertrash won't even buy this pitiful little multimillion dollar gamble..

My Fox Austin is running a commercial for Slim Jims, the mechanically separated chicken parts snack. The commercial(s) show a little gremlin or elf or something taking a bite off a Slim Jim and then attacking persons around him/it.

On the Slim Jim web site is the following.

What is my Spicy Side?

It’s that part of you that’s a little aggressive, a little insane, a little adventurous, and even a little mischievous. Your Spicy Side has absolutely no regard for proper conduct or state laws of any kind.

Now what happens when my Spicy Side eats a Slim Jim?

Impossible to predict. It generally varies by how much it ate and how spicy the Slim Jim-----

Is this the kind of commercial that needs to been seen by children? Or most adults for that matter. Following this line of reasoning a bite of a chile petin could turn you into a serial killer.

Just when you think the politicians have got as nutty as they can get, something like this pops up.

With Gustav and Hanna churning up the waters down south the price of oil and gasoline is spiking because something may happen.

So far not a drop of oil had been lost due to the storms. Of course we have the long Labor Day weekend at hand when some folk might want to get out of Dodge for a while.

The motto of big business is skru everyone. Let God sort 'em out.

With hurricane Gustav taking dead aim on New Orleans President Bush has ordered FEMA to immediately send ten truckloads of ice and ten truckloads of bottled water to Billings, Montana.

Makes as much sense as some of the things they did after Katrina.  I think all the temporary housing is still bogged down in Arkansas.

I have been asked to chair the organization and first fund raiser for the new Poor People and Homeless Shelter that will be built soon near downtown.

The purpose of PP&HS is to get the poor and homeless off the streets off the streets and out of sight.

The way it will work is: Authorities will have a roaming PP&H patrol that will capture and take PP&H to the shelter. At the shelter the PP&H will be given baths, checked for parasites and given shots to prevent any disease outbreaks.

The PP&H will then go into a holding facility where advantaged persons can come and select one or more to adopt.

Once the PP&H has been cleared to go to a new home he/she will be spayed or neutered to prevent reproduction of the species.

A representative of the SPCPP&H ( Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Poor People and Homeless ) will check the new residences once a year to make sure the PP&H are being treated in a humane manner.

Those PP&H that are not adopted within six weeks will be euthanized.

The Limbaugh Foundation, sponsor of the effort, says that if everything works according to plan, by 2010 there will be no more Poor People or Homeless left and life will be so much nicer.